Monday, August 15, 2011

Dear Bully: Blogger Edition Post 3

Dear Bully: Blogger Edition is a project that was started here at The Crazy Bookwork. The project is to promote the amazing concept of the novel Dear Bully which is a collaboration of stories from 70 various young adult authors, who share with us their personal experiences with bullying. The project is also to bring awareness to bullying and to contribute to the end of it. You can participate, too. If you have a story you would like to share, or if you would like to just share some kind words to victims of bullying, you can do that also. You can remain anonymous.

To learn more or if you are interested in participating, you can do so HERE


This story comes from: R

I went to a very small school where I graduated with the same 34 students I'd known for the past 13 years of school.  In third grade I gained some weight and that is when the bullying began. It started with a girl always being mean to me and continued like this until middle school when it got severe. I wasn't the only one to be bullied by this group and I know one of the ones that was bullied still has psychological issues dealing with the after effects.

A group of about three football boys began harassing the less popular girls. Doing things like grinding up on them, spitting on them, calling them horrible names. Bear in mind this was directly in front of teachers. They simply did not care or wouldn't do anything about it because my high school was a football school. They had nicknames for the ones they would pick on. I was Oompa Loompa, like the short fat characters in Willy Wonka.

I would go home and cry after school everyday. I had no where that was safe, school wasn't safe, home wasn't safe. Finally I withdrew into myself so much that I would barely speak during school.

By ninth grade I was suicidal and then it all turned around as I entered into my sophomore year. The boy who was the ring leader had grown up and seen the damage he was causing. Primarily because one of the ones he had bullied the most was in a mental institute.

When I stood up for myself and showed that bullying me was no longer going to work the girl that began bullying me in third grade became my best friend (and still is).

The damage caused by this didn't just end because the bullying did. I got stronger and saw that the reason they were bullying was because they were so insecure. I know this is an adage used and it's not particularly helpful at the time, but it's true.

L (bff), was shaped much the same as I. She was being told how horrible she looked (by her own parents none-the-less) and wanted to spread that pain on so she didn't have to bear it alone. D, (boy ring leader) had a grandfather that had severe PTSD from the war living with him so his home life was a nightmare.

R's Message: Bullies bully because they are weak, insecure, and have deep issues of their own, but in the moment of the bullying remember this: If they had better things to be doing with their time they wouldn't be bullying you.

Keep active. Find a place in which you are comfortable and use this security to build up your own backbone in order to stand up for yourself. Even in the smallest of communities there are people that are struggling with exactly the same issues that you are. You are not alone.

If it gets to the point in which you are suicidal remember this quote. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." It does get better.
 
R's Message to Bullies: Don't. I get that you have a lot of pain in your own life and don't know how to communicate these feelings in positive manner. Get help. No one that is happy within themselves wakes up and chooses to be a bully. But you can chose to be productive instead of destructive with whatever issues are behind your bullying.


If you see someone being bullied stand up for them. This can be incredibly scary, but it only takes one voice to begin a change for the better.
 
R's final words: No one deserves to be bullied no matter what they how they look, dress, love, or believe.
 
Thank you so much for sharing your story, R. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that growing up, but I'm glad that you were able to grow from your experience. 
 
Your messages are very powerful and will have a great impact on bullied victims of all ages.
Share with the world:

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